I finally got over you

You were my everything
You were my prince charming
the one who came and swept me off my feet
and took me away from reality
even if it was just for a little while
you taught me what true love was
you taught me how to love
in ways no one else can
and i will always carry that in my heart
you showed me sides of my self
that i thought were dead
never to come back to life
you taught me how to live away
to just be me and screw what everyone else says
you were my first kiss
and most importantly you were my first love
no matter how much time passes
there will always be a place for you in my heart
that will never fade away
i remember the first day we met
you had me from hello
I still get butterflies like it was yesterday
I remember as i was walking away
the feeling as though i was leaving a part of myself behind
yet at the same time
I was gaining something so much better
I never knew at that time
what i was getting into
you were the best
and the worst thing that ever happened to me
you make me vulnerable
in ways i shouldn't be
you were my best friend
and my worst enemy
i remember when you first said i love you
and that one night we were talking on the phone
and i just said "goodnight"
you said "no way, your not getting away with that"
that we weren't saying goodnight anymore
and i said "make me one promise"
and before i could even tell you what the promise was
you said "i will never say it, unless i mean it"
everytime i said i love you
i fell for you all over again

i remember the day you left
my heart breaks like it was yesterday
when you walked away
it felt like you were taking a part of me with you
a part i could never get back
it felt like everything i had gained
was now dead inside
you were everything to me
you were my first love
and when you said forever
i thought you meant it
that was my mistake

I built some many walls around me after that
completely shutting down
I didn't care anymore
Because without you
I felt i had nothing

But now I beginning realize
that you weren't the end
you were the only the beginning
you were the first
but you weren't the last
and even though your not in my life like you used to be
you are still teaching me things
like no one else can
you will forever be apart of my life
and in my heart
that will never fade away
no matter how much time passes by

I have come to realize that you and I
will never be
And at first that scared the heck out of me
Because i didn't think I could love anyone but you
but now i'm learning that its ok to love again

what we had is now only a memory
i will never forget that
but thats ok
because its just a memory
and now its time to make more
but with someone else by my side
teaching me new things
showing me things i never thought i could see again

I never thought there would come a day
when I finally got over you
but now that day is here
and i'm ok with that
i'm ready to move on
and i'm ready to let go

when i saw you that day
you looked at me, smiled and waved
i smiled and waved back
then you walked over and said hello
and as you walked away
i couldn't stop smiling
because i had finally let you go
when you walked over
i felt nothing
and when you left
i still felt nothing

that was the day, i finally got over you

Part One
Why it is, in a crowd of people
Every single time, your the only one I see
Your the one who always seems to know me
Better then I know myself
You understand me, In ways no one else
Could even begin to try
My heart has been shattered countless times
Causing me to put up so many walls
Hoping not to get hurt again
Trying to make impossible for any guy to get close
Yet some how you always seem to break through
Through all the walls and the masks
You never seem to care
You always seem to love me for me
No matter what I say or what I do
Or how many countless mistakes
I always seem to make
You always seem to be there
You never leave me
No matter how many stupid little fights we have
Or how many times I wanna walk away
You always seem to know the right words to say
To bring me back to you again
Sometimes I feel you are the best thing that has happened to me
But so many other times I felt you are the worst
You know how to make me laugh
When my world is crashing in
And all I feel like doing is crying
You are everything to me
You always have and always will mean the world to me
Just the thought of maybe loosing you
Brings tears to my eyes
And endless pain to my heart
Sometimes I don't understand you
Countless times I question you
You confuse the living crap out of me
One minute you love me
The next your my worst enemy
You always seem to surprise me
Just when i think your ready to give up on me
To walk away and never look back
You lay it all down
Just so we can be friends
Words can't explain just how much you mean to me
I love you


Part Two
You used to mean the world to me
You were everything to me
I could never picture my life without you in it
By my side
The thought of you walking away
Was a pain my heart could stand to bare
And now I'm the one whose walking away
The thought of you not being my life
Doesn't seem to scare me
But at the same time
Its still hard to picture myself staying
Sometimes I feel like you mean more to me
Then I will ever mean to you

I can't stand around and watch you always be hurt
Whats even more painful is when you blame me
Countless times you make me question
and second guess myself
Wondering if I really do cause you
The pain that you constantly say your feeling
And i'm tired of seeing you hurt
I'm done chancing it

I think I'm finally strong enough
to say I'm done
And really walk away

Maybe later in time
We will run into each other
And you will finally be happy
With someone who makes you smile
In ways I never seem to
I really hope you will be
I hope you find the happiness you deserve
That you become the person
I know deep down you can become

Just know
No matter what happens
How far we stray
I always have
Always will
Love you

She's the biggest judge of herself

When she looks in the mirror
She doesn't see what you see
You can tell her she's beautiful all you want
And all though its true
She doesn't see what you see
You can tell her over and over
She doesn't need to change a thing
But she doesn't see what you see
when you look at her
You see a beautiful flawless young lady
With beautiful eyes, perfect hair
A girl whose not a pound over weight
Someone who not only has beauty
But has the brains
A girl who make something of herself
A girl all the guys are after
But heres what you don't see...
When she looks in the mirror
She hates what sees
She hates everything about herself
She has a list of a milling things she would love to change
She looks in the mirror
and sees the scars that cover her body
from the inside out
every mistake she's every made
is written on her
She sees the real her
that hides under those thousands of masks
she hides behind them
to escape the shame she feels
she constantly feels the weight of the world
on her weak shoulders
She feels as though the world is constantly judging her
when in truth the world doesn't need to judge her
because what you don't see
is that she's the biggest judge of herself

this was written for a friend. who shall remain nameless. I love ya girlie. and i am always praying for you. don't give up. I know you can do this.

Your just History

Fool me once shame on you
Fool me twice shame on me
I guess the blame is on me
Because you sure fooled me
I thought it was real
I thought it was true
But it turns out I'm just a game to you
Well guess what?, not this time
one...two...strike three baby you out

I fell for you once
Thought you were my prince charming
But that was once upon a time ago

This princess is just gonna save herself
because she has learned your just a waste of time

You had your chance
And you blew it
So now I've moved on
And I'm finally happy
You get no do-overs
no repeats

She's found her one true prince
Whose way better then you are
Or ever will be
So boy just walk away
Because your just history

Never really had a chance ♥

She thought she was in love
She thought you loved her back
That you were her prince charming
The one who would save her
The one who would give her hope
Turn her gray clouds white again

But she thought wrong
Maybe she did love you
Or maybe it was just a fairytale
But the truth was you never loved her at all
Not even from the start
You weren't her knight and shining armor
You never planned to save her
The only thing you planned to do was give her hope
You had to draw her in
You had to fool her

She gave you the one thing that mattered most to her
And you shattered that to a million pieces
without a second thought
Killing everything inside of her

Now she's scared to find love again
Scared to let anyone close againS

cared of what will happen when they see the truth
What she tries to hide with every mask she wears

The shame that she carries
Reliving that moment over and over again
each time she always blames herself

Trying her hardest to hide the scars that cover her
praying you wont notice them
Or the shame that is written on each one

All she wants is to be herself again
to be pure and whole again
Withoout the constant fear of being judged
She just wants to live her life
One day just one
Were she is truly happy
Without constantly looking over her shoulders
Questions everyone around her
Or having a million walls that surround her
Making it impossible for anyone to get close

All she really wants is to be herself again
To be accepted
To love
And to be loved

Who I used to be

As i look in the mirror
I slowly see myself fading
Little by Little
All because i'm slowly losing myself
And trying to be
Who I think you want me to be

I want so desperately for you to notice
So I change myself
Into someone I hope you'd like me to be
I'd do anything just for you to notice me

But I am slowly waking up
And realizing
You will never see me
If I change myself for you

You're so wrapped up in yourself
to even know I'm alive
I'm beginning to realize
that you were just a waste of my time

I thought we were close
That we had something special
But the longer i know you

The more i begin to realize
I never knew the real you
to begin with

I'm beginning to realize
that your cost or just to high
because its not worth losing myself
and who God created me to be
for some five minutes of acceptance
that will fade
and then i'll be empty again

I think its time
that i take a stand for myself
and become the person that i used to be
The person God created me to be

all alone

I remember that day so well
My heart still breaks like it was yesterday
I have never cried so hard
as I did that day you walked away

I begged and begged for you to stay
But you said you just couldn't stay
that you just had to get away

You made up so many lies
And stories
And not a single reason for you to stay
You said you never loved me in the first place

You said you were a Man
But you ran like a boy
Over time i have come to realize the truth

You didn't run because of the reasons i thought you did
you ran because the more i knew you
the more i showed you
things you didn't even know about yourself
and that scared you

you were scared if i dug to deep
i would find you
the real you
the one you try so hard to hide
and that scared you

so it wasn't me you were running from
it was yourself

When you left you told me
you regretted nothing
but that was a lie too

because one day down the road
maybe not today
maybe not tomorrow
maybe not until 5 years from now

you will regret that day you walked away
because in truth you can't run from yourself
one day you will have to face the one thing
you've always been scared of
you

and when that day comes
the only difference between now and then
is that you let a girl go
that was willingly to face it with you

expect now
its too late
she's already let you go
just like you let her go

and now you have to face this
all alone