Who I used to be

As i look in the mirror
I slowly see myself fading
Little by Little
All because i'm slowly losing myself
And trying to be
Who I think you want me to be

I want so desperately for you to notice
So I change myself
Into someone I hope you'd like me to be
I'd do anything just for you to notice me

But I am slowly waking up
And realizing
You will never see me
If I change myself for you

You're so wrapped up in yourself
to even know I'm alive
I'm beginning to realize
that you were just a waste of my time

I thought we were close
That we had something special
But the longer i know you

The more i begin to realize
I never knew the real you
to begin with

I'm beginning to realize
that your cost or just to high
because its not worth losing myself
and who God created me to be
for some five minutes of acceptance
that will fade
and then i'll be empty again

I think its time
that i take a stand for myself
and become the person that i used to be
The person God created me to be

all alone

I remember that day so well
My heart still breaks like it was yesterday
I have never cried so hard
as I did that day you walked away

I begged and begged for you to stay
But you said you just couldn't stay
that you just had to get away

You made up so many lies
And stories
And not a single reason for you to stay
You said you never loved me in the first place

You said you were a Man
But you ran like a boy
Over time i have come to realize the truth

You didn't run because of the reasons i thought you did
you ran because the more i knew you
the more i showed you
things you didn't even know about yourself
and that scared you

you were scared if i dug to deep
i would find you
the real you
the one you try so hard to hide
and that scared you

so it wasn't me you were running from
it was yourself

When you left you told me
you regretted nothing
but that was a lie too

because one day down the road
maybe not today
maybe not tomorrow
maybe not until 5 years from now

you will regret that day you walked away
because in truth you can't run from yourself
one day you will have to face the one thing
you've always been scared of
you

and when that day comes
the only difference between now and then
is that you let a girl go
that was willingly to face it with you

expect now
its too late
she's already let you go
just like you let her go

and now you have to face this
all alone

Who I used to be

As i look in the mirror
I slowly see myself fading
Little by Little
All because i'm slowly losing myself
And trying to be
Who I think you want me to be

I want so desperately for you to notice
So I change myself
Into someone I hope you'd like me to be
I'd do anything just for you to notice me

But I am slowly waking up
And realizing
You will never see me
If I change myself for you

You're so wrapped up in yourself
to even know I'm alive
I'm beginning to realize
that you were just a waste of my time

I thought we were close
That we had something special
But the longer i know you

The more i begin to realize
I never knew the real you
to begin with

I'm beginning to realize
that your cost or just to high
because its not worth losing myself
and who God created me to be
for some five minutes of acceptance
that will fade
and then i'll be empty again

I think its time
that i take a stand for myself
and become the person that i used to be
The person God created me to be

ask me to stay

Sitting right beside each other
Yet it feels like we're living in separate worlds
Our hearts so disconnected
So close, yet so far apart
holding on to memories
to us and what use to be
hoping one day, maybe we can be again
I'm not asking for much
Just to be friends again
To laugh like we used to
talking about pointless nothings
don't you miss it?
who we used to be
or are you so caught up
in the lie
that everything's just peachy
that there's nothing we need to fix
i feel as though i am becoming
so numb to this
this has become my way of living, my life
This cant be all there is
there has to be more
I wanna work on this
I wanna fix us
But I can't do it alone
It takes the two of us
Are you for the change
or should i just walk away

I don't want to
But at the same time
I cant keep living in this dream
in all honesty i just want you
to do just one thing
just ask me to stay

My love for you

Running around in circles
Going nowhere fast
the cycle never seems to end
Countless heart breaks
And mending back together again
So much happiness
So many smiles
Wanting to make a difference
Hoping for a change
Constantly looking for that freedom
A chance to spread her wings
To make skies beyond the limit

Endlessly searching
For something that can never
truly be found

For it is a gift
Only to be to given
when you are truly ready
to receive it
Always feeling caged, ready to break free
fenced it, ready to jump it
and never look back

But you see, in truth
if you were to be set free

How can you fly
when your father has only just begun to teach you
Not because he doesn't want you to
but because you have to learn the basics
before you can even try

If he gave you the gift
could you honestly handle it
when you've only just began to see
the love the father has for you

Be patient little one
For i have so much planned for you
these fences are only temporary
to be removed little by little
not to hold you back
but to prepare you
to mold you into everything
I have created you to be

One day you will be free
One day you will be loved and love
Like nothing you've ever felt before
though it may take time
for these promises to come true
keep faith like a child
never lose site of
the fathers love for you

The real you

You hide behind a million different masks
Wearing the smile, hiding the frown
your one person here, and another there
So many walls, surrounding the real you
Protecting your heart, yet hiding yourself
So many people always giving up
pretending the don't know
that they don't see

But not me, i wanna know
I wanna see, behind the masks
behind the walls, show me you
the real you
You wear so many masks
I wanna break them all down

Just be you
who your supposed to be
The one I love